ME, and my father

“Me and My Father” is a photographic project about a father-daughter relationship shaped by alcoholism, fear, and years of emotional distance – and by a quiet reconciliation at the end of a life. When I was six years old, my father almost died from alcohol poisoning. The fear of losing him stayed with me from that moment on. To protect myself, I withdrew emotionally. His addiction and his strong connection to the Soviet Union shaped my childhood and our relationship for many years.

After returning from Berlin, I began, with my father’s consent, to work through our family history through photography. The starting point was my parents’ house, where I grew up. During this process, my mother suddenly passed away. She played a central role in holding our family together. One year later, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer – incurable. The camera became a way for me to hold on to what was still there. I document moments and stage memories in order to confront what I had always feared most: loss. In portraits, still lifes, rooms, and everyday moments, I capture the slow disappearance of my father while I am still grieving my mother. At the center are his illness and the farewell, as well as the quiet closeness that developed between us.

On March 31, 2025, my father died at home. The last photograph was taken one day before his death. It shows his hands – a sign of his final wish to go fishing one more time.